Holidays…ready or not – here they come! Children enjoy family traditions. I’ve learned that more as our kids have left the nest. I believe children are comforted by traditions and feel loved and cherished through them. My husband and I didn’t necessarily purpose to build holiday traditions – they just kind of happened. If I could go back I would purpose to build even more.

Tradition means different things to different people. For my daughter, Thanksgiving isn’t Thanksgiving without the traditional food fare. One year we considered serving a non-traditional meal and she set us straight that for her, Thanksgiving meant turkey and dressing and the fixings. So that was that – end of discussion and Thanksgiving menu was set for life!

I asked our kids what their favorite traditions were and enjoyed hearing their responses. Unanimously sausage balls won top pick! My mother-in-law began the tradition of sausage balls for Christmas breakfast and we have continued it. Just a simple recipe I’ll include, but oh so delicious!

Another mutual favorite and my personal favorite tradition is the Baby Jesus basket. When we decorate the Christmas tree I set out an empty basket filled with muslin and hay or raffia and it remains there, in the prominent spot at the foot of the tree, until Christmas morning. When the kids get up that morning and head to the tree, Baby Jesus is in the basket and we all say, “Baby Jesus is here!” I use a life-size doll that I keep tucked away for just this event. Precious memories.

Many years we made a Happy Birthday Jesus cake as a reminder of what we were celebrating.

Playing games as a family, watching movies while stuffed with food with extended family, playing with new toys Christmas Day all ranked high.

Decorating the house for Christmas as a family team was a favorite mentioned. This was usually an all-day event and brought much joy at the final result. Of course, the taking down was another story…smile.

Our daughter posted the following on social media last year, along with a sweet picture of our family’s (those who were in town) personal candlelight service Christmas Eve night: My favorite tradition…the nativity story read by candlelight. We’ve always taken this tradition to slow it down after all the holiday hub-bub, but this year it brought a whole new level of meaning, because instead of all coming home from a Christmas light show, or a Christmas Eve service together, we came home from 3 different churches across the state after serving in 2 days of Christmas Eve ministries. I couldn’t be more grateful for the reason for this season nor my family who works so hard to help others celebrate Him.

My wonderful daughters-in-law shared some of their families’ favorite holiday traditions:

We used to look up houses in the newspaper that did extravagant lights and decorations and drove to those neighborhoods and enjoyed the lights.

Each year on Christmas day we each got an ornament. We would hang it on the tree and when the tree came down we’d get to put the ornament in a bin with our name on it. When we moved out we got to take the bin with all the ornaments we had been given over the years. It made our first Christmas really special as a couple as I shared about the ornaments and we started our own additions to it!

We had a Christmas Eve tradition that went like this: We would go out after dark, usually right after dinner, and while we were out Santa’s Elves would sneak in and leave us gifts–always Christmas pajamas. We would open them, exclaim over them, change into them, and wear them for Christmas morning!

So I encourage you, and it’s never too late, to create your own holiday traditions for your children to enjoy and carry-on into their lives and inspire fresh, new traditions for their own families.

And the first prize goes to…

Sausage Balls

1 lb. sausage

1 lb. grated cheddar cheese

3 cups Bisquick

Shape into balls and bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes.

Can be frozen before cooking. Separate layers with wax paper.

Let Me See Your Eyes

The art of listening is a learned skill; therefore, it has to be taught. The only way to know if someone is truly listening to you is to see their eyes, the lamp of their body. In our family, we made a practice of requiring our children to look at us when we spoke to them. We would simply say, “Let me see your eyes”, when we began talking to them.

Children are busy in their life work of play. Usually they are not interested in stopping an important task to hear what you have to say, especially a talk that requires an adjustment on their part. But children usually respond to a positive, simple command when they know you respect them and have their best interest at heart.

It’s easy for a child to later tell you they “didn’t hear” something important you told them. However, if they were looking at you at the time you can simply remind them they were looking at you and acknowledged the information and therefore you know they heard you. Mirroring is important as well, so consider having them repeat whatever point or requirement you are making when you speak to them… “now what did I say?”

As adults we have to lead out on this by example. We need to look at our children when they speak to us. Eye-to-eye is the best way, so don’t hesitate to kneel down on their level to give that respect which will, in turn, build their self-esteem.

So don’t talk to the top or back of their little heads and don’t give your backside when they speak. This is important and worth the investment. You’ll be glad you engaged in this simple practice. Listening is such an important life skill, especially in our age of consuming electronics. Give it a try!

Matthew 6:22 (NIV)

²² The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.

James 1:19 (NIV)

¹⁹ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

An interview with me and by me….

In our empty-nest life, my husband and I enjoy riding our Harley-Davidson motorcycle. I know there are questions about this form of recreation and thought I would share my thoughts in this blog:

Do you know this is a dangerous way to recreate?

Yes, we are aware there are safer ways to have fun.

Do you wear a helmet?

Yes, we wear protective gear, including helmets, every time we ride.

Why do you ride?

I’m so glad you asked!

I ride because it is my husband’s passion and something he enjoys very much. I just sit back and enjoy being “along for the ride”. The number one reason I enjoy riding is to be with him. It’s something we can do together to have fun. I am a country girl and I love to be out and enjoy the countryside. I don’t have to “do anything” while riding. It is peaceful and adventurous as the same time.

Other women I know enjoy riding their own motorcycle, but I personally enjoy the lack of responsibility when I’m “along for the ride”.

Do you always ride with him?

No, he also enjoys riding alone. So far, all of his long-distance trips have been without me, though we are planning one in the future. He frequently rides alone for relaxation.

Do you care what people think about you riding a motorcycle?

I care what God and my husband think of me, other than that I try to hold loosely to what other people think.

Are you suggesting everyone go out and get a motorcycle?

NO! I am not. But I would encourage you to try whatever form of recreation your husband enjoys and see if you could learn to enjoy it, too.

I believe it is important to find a way to connect with your husband that includes a hobby or recreation he enjoys. That can be many things and will vary with seasons of life and personalities.

What are other forms of recreation we could enjoy together?

The list is endless, but here are a few ideas: fishing, hunting, shooting, archery, hiking, boating, kayaking, movies, gaming, chess, golf, cooking, and gardening. Study your husband to see what he enjoys, or better yet – ask him!

What if I don’t think I will like a form of recreation my husband enjoys?

You don’t know unless you try. You could always bring a book!

Ecclesiastes 9:9 (NASB)

⁹ Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.